I moved in with my cousin last Monday. She and her Dr. Husband are moving from Chicago they closed on the house early and it is not finished out. It is a great place, but workers are in and out. Dr. got his wallet stolen by a plumber’s helper on the first day I was here while he was in the house. So tensions and tempers are abundant. Dr. D is a nice guy but you don’t know until you have to move in with someone and the awkwardness of being the guy in the guest bedroom. He is anal retentive and a know it all which I guess in the medical profession behooves him, just not in the rest of the world. Every time I ask to do something like help them put up blinds or line the cabinet’s etc. b/c he is not moving down until June, they say we aren’t going to do any of that stuff right now. I can’t quite get it across that I really just want to help where I can and I am not trying to suggest what they do with their new home. It’s an argument at every suggestion of help. So I am laying off while laying out unemployed. I did not get the job I so much thought I would and that I wanted. They offered me another job in Dothan, AL about seven hours from my Son, Can’t do it nuff said. It was disappointing but they didn’t have to offer me a job in another territory. It was a fortune 200 company and would have been a shot in my Life’s arm. Meanwhile back at the in cousin in-laws every bolt turned, paint stroke, hinge, piece of molding etc. is being hashed and re-hashed and my head was been swimming in chemical vapors and anxiety for the last 10 plus days. My cousin and I will be fine now that he has gone back to Chi town. She is a suicide prevention counselor and has been working down in New Orleans for the past couple of months now started her job with the state program here in TN. She deals with some serious things daily so is not as affected as Dr. is (Radiologist) about some of the small shit except that she gets dragged into it by his machismo need to take control of his castle. I take a step back and understand that it is natural but immaturely exaggerated in his need to show that he is the Alpha in this situation. I could blame it on the stars I learned that his birthday is May 9th mine May 10th, two bulls in one house and not having sex with one another makes for innate stubbornness. Then there is the whole life perspective thing, he is neo-Republican which I think might be a pre-requisite in med school or maybe is just learned in residency from peers bitching about how rough Dr.’s have it in the states. Man it is tough to be overpaid and have to buy that darn liability insurance and still have to pay taxes and everything. Sarcasm alert. So you have to pay $25K in liability insurance a year and in his case make $500k a year, and then you fall into that extreme tax bracket and still are the top 2% of the country. Fucking weenies! Needless to say as generous and sincere as they have been about taking me in for a little while, two worlds are colliding. I promise I am being the bigger person in this situation, thank goodness I can BlogVent. While venting let me tell you how unprepared to move in they were or incapable of planning ahead. 1st day no utilities turned on, floors not finished toxic lacquer emissions everywhere. Gas not hooked up so any hot water; they have a great gas stove and oven but can’t work without Nashville gas. Now cousin has been here for 1 month living with Dr.’s brother but these things haven’t been handled. So we get power the next day gas a few days later and cable and internet just today. Listen to me no TV no internet ughh! I do need the net for venting and job search, and TV to watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs what’s an unemployed bachelor to do? I silly day at a time I will be ok. I have opened up all the windows let some spring time in and try not to breath in too much new house chemical funk. Cousin gets home at 5, no screens on windows she is skeered of bugs so I will closem up. The privacy blind thing has gotten sort of funny. My bedroom window and bathroom window look directly on to the back Neighbors porch. Linda. She is a snoopy 50 something with a Dachshund, who complained to the Neighborhood zoning committee about two Dr.’s moving in on the lots did the tear downs. She supposedly gave a 5-10 minute speech on the public access TV station that shows zoning boards about why can’t those Dr.’s build somewhere out in the country or something. Linda it could be worse these silly Dr.’s coming in and driving your property value up. Linda is constantly out back working in her garden and letting the wiener dog do its business. I have found myself with full frontal nudity looking right out the window and Linda and I have no doubt become more intimate. After about three of four times I stopped darting behind the door and if heavens forbid she is admiring than good for her. After all I have been working out! Merciful me. What is more uncomfortable to me is when I have taken the sitting position on the john and out she comes, no place really to hide then just sit and gaze into each others eyes. Apparently Cousin has had to do some dropping to floor and darting into closets too while Linda is on the porch. She must think we are a bunch of neked jay birds. Lord forbid we put up those blinds. Dr just wants curtains I suggested you know blinds can be pulled up and you can still use window treatment, but he doesn’t want to drill any holes in the window frames. I made the mistake of telling him that I had my tools and a drill so if he would buy the blinds I would put them up for him. Anyway I think I will go stand naked in the window and wait for Linda to come home. Peace ya’ll.

I went to the game last night by myself and happen to sit next to 4 hot young single but dating women, all mid twenties, I felt like I was 15 again of course I am not and there heavy flirting me was a huge boost to my soon to be single confidence although I know very innocent. There was full moon last night or at least a mighty large one. I have a past that involves intense sexuality emissions under the full moon, almost uncanny maybe a placebo but whatever. These girls went to Ole Miss all living in Nashville now awesome early Spring tans and smelled so damn good. Not to mention they were all sharp and witty. It motivated me to get to the Subdudes show after the game to see those ole boys for the first time in a while, Great crowd, I didn't meet a stranger and really had an awesome time, Just a great show, awesome vibe dancing crowd 21 to 60 all bopping, Meanwhile at the bar waiting on the bartender and bartendress I end up next to Claire, another 20 something blonde, a weakness that has never died in me. We cut up I make her blush, we made a bet who would get the bartenders attention the attractive woman barkeep or the cool male barkeep, I barely beat her out, I got her card, this poor girl really dug me and we danced and I had one of those 20 something nights where I fell in love but went home alone. Hopefully I will be man enough to call her and ask her out soon. It will be interesting to start dating and find out how women especially younger women are going to react to me being divorced with a special needs kid. Being unemployed at the moment is not usually the greatest attribute. It was nice to fall in love again for a minute, it has been such a long time. Peace Yall

I watched former Senator Biden on Bill Maher the other night and he spoke frankly and very simplistic about our presence in the Middle East and specifically Iraq, He had some candid tidbits about his experiences in dealing with our President. I am no political genius but it does make me wonder what percentages of Americans know anything about global politics and/or our policies. Our President is not cliché stupid, war monger, vindictive hypocrite. He might be worse, he might be a sociopath. His world view is some irrelevant and his life experiences are so irrelevant to being a man of the people, or even better than that a man that is better than the people, because we prove time and time again we are silly stupid provincial people as a whole. The reason we wanted representative government in the first place is so people with greater aptitudes for holding a Republic together would hold office and let the not so interested in the complexities of governing be represented and yet not to powerful enough to fuck things up, and start silly little emotional squabbles, over things they couldn’t quite grasp. Our problem is our commander in chief is the silly little provincial oil farmer who really doesn't have a broad enough world view to know what right or wrong is for the good of the many. As senator Biden said, when discussing foreign policy or whatever he would state, to Dubba "Mr. President let me explain this again I think you are misunderstanding all the variables in the decision" Dubba would reply "well I am going with my instincts" staff nodding of course. Dubba thinks that his instincts are more important than understanding the decisions he has to make. There was also a reference from Biden stating after Dub had made the decision to got to war in Iraq, that Congressional Dems were invited to see him and discuss his decision. When they arrived in the oval office, Condi tells them he is outside walking the dogs, the see him out the window walking around the track, taking his time, he eventually comes into the meeting while the Dems were waiting, Sen. Biden asks "So are how are your dogs" Passive aggressive no less, Dubb says he was just "praying about his decision" The decision was already made was he praying that his instincts were good and his lack of understanding of the situation were of no consequence, yes and that is how he operates on a whim and a prayer. Meanwhile Cheney and Rove have convinced him to keep sticking with your gut and we will let you know when we need your instincts.
So now Iraq candies flowers and trinkets not exactly given. Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites have been arguing most of the time bloody for almost 500 years, Our president only thinks the world is 600 years old, and you have two specific problems with this situation, A large amount of Turkeys low cost labor, specifically pipelines owned by Enron past tense and the like are Kurd Turks, Kurds want Kurdistan, by the way lots of oil in what would be Kurdistan, which would lead to power and a potential military and tons of people leaving Turkey to be a part of that, Won't happen Turks are bad asses. Down south you have Shiites not Arabs like Sunnis, supported by good theocrats in Tehran future Nuclear Tehran Lotsa oil down round Basra too, Ah But Saudis and like want Sunnis to be big part of Iraqi Opec brethren. Meanwhile what was inevitable is these three waiting years to duke it out in ole Mesopotamia, Again I am not a scholar did study Poli Sci Foreign Policy as a focus but, I ain't in the state department or Pentagon and I think anyone who reads this can understand our dilemma in a nut shell. We have an admin. that doesn't think we can understand and two parties who are unwilling to try to explain it. Why greedy corrupted fools, Pray for good leaders, which reminds me Sen. Biden was a pussyfooter and now since out of the claws of his handlers he sure does make a lot of sense. What he says our presidents instincts and unwillingness to learn things for himself have done what people like me knew was going to happen from day one, Civil war in Iraq with a quagmire that now requires us getting tough with the Turks (only Democracy over there) and the Iranians the real sicko Clerics of the Middle East. Like Biden says we have to now get those easily laughable Franks involved, The Bavarian goofs and every single sheik, king cleric whatever we can find say we will not tolerate Turk Iranian intrusion especially since we now admit we fucked up and need to get our Blood Sweat and Tear men and women home. Period Period Period. So the most undiplomatic Administration ever has to rely on their ability to re-build bridges they burned. Supposedly Dub studied history at Yale. Bullshit, whatever he has read or learned about the middle east must not have stuck. Wake up America read something about the Middle East it isn't going to end pretty, and our guy could be the anti Christ he reads about in Revelations and doesn't understand that he is him. He seems to have some need to fulfill the esoteric musing of the hallucinating John, it is good reading and I love puzzles as much as anyone but our Dubb is not going to put the pieces of anything in the right place. It is time for Republicans and Democrats with any intelligence to jump ship from this administration and make this guy a lame duck. By the way Conservatives, true conservatives not neo theologians here. Fiscal conservatism has never existed under this administration and we now have the largest government in the history of the world bloated with debt and what is beginning to look like a stranger version of Carter "Mystery Economics" going on in our country, there is nothing to take up for this guy on, on any level unless you are scared the world is going to end tomorrow, and as Curtis Mayfield said so eloquently folks "if there is Hell below, we all gonna go"

end of my day it was hot in Tennessee shot 80 got some rays met Craig and Vince had great conversation, Bosox fan my team, need to get to Fenway, talked Hockey, saw a big king snake, shot 36 44, drinking some water, hope to get cooler, go see the Subdudes at Mercy Lounge, never been there, should be fun, drink anchor steam, dance on tired legs, sweat to cool rhythms, groove to creole beat, love the ladies smiles, get home safe, never heard from my hopeful boss, try not to get to lit, maybe find a place to sit, Damn right I got the blues, the kind I can use, sneak in tonight on Miles give him a kiss, not have to see the ex, Friday is next. won't hold your breath.

Losing intellectual energy, wanting to smoke dope again, over exercised, over golfed, want to go see the subdudes tonight, want to watch the Hockey game, Hope guy calls me back after third interview today, like he said he would, want want want, to much, want to dance with pretty girls, want to not want, No woman no cry, hope medecin is good, hope I can muster, like long days, hate sleepless nights, don't worry, no responsiblity, pray for myself but thats not cool, Cool is immature, cool is passe, want to go to Louisiana, want to go to Charleston, want to go to Mobile, dont want to drive 1000's of miles this week, need a couple more friends, have a good day, have a chance, be a chance, want to know what is right, have instincts, not always true, want a kiss, need a hug, find it hard to listen, trying more, lose some weight, weight of the world, want to eat rich food, want to avoid indigestion, win at a game, use my brain, but not if it hurts, sacrifice for love, breathe clean air, avoid traffic, be , be, be, me, me, me. Would like to know, not to care, have grace and peace, miss my Louise, had funky dreams, met girl who loved me, saw Miles at 10, golf with nowhere to swing, my bus kept creeping forward, in parking lot of broken dreams, saw all the people who love me, I didn't trust the story, Want to much, need so little, too complicated, so undefined, wearing down, nothing is good and bad, melancholy not chemical, confused just intellingence, Iran and Turkey, our President the flunky, high blood pressure, low blood sugar, scared to be, strong willed but shallow, need to call that recruiter, cant take refuge in computer, did'nt get as much I would like, didn't deserve it, I am a one Bass Hit, Getting through it, use it or lose it, she would like it, I would love it, be a go-go getter, watch a double header, get in her space, be all the rage, mucho self esteem, lean hot and mean, make the B team, make them scream, I am the King, kiss my ring, tone deaf but sing, I know better, take me to the river.