Took Miles Stu home today, deeder dog has been here since Wed. It was so nice to be with my boy for 24, I made a lot of promises to him about me staying available. He just beamed all night listening to me, we talked our talk and the snugglin was good, Miles Stu, me and my deeder dog and some stupid box, two glasses of a great Pinot Noir, Nissiyou I think was the vineyard Rogue Valley Oregon for sure, 12.99 try it. As great as it was it was such a painful reminder that I am never going to be a part of his daily life. I just want to make sure the expectations I have set for myself which in effect is to make sure Miles knows me and knows as a source of joy and love in his world, are met. I so need to connect with some other adults too. Amazing how much my relationships have changed since being married. I gave up a lot, and some are being rekindled. I hope to start dating soon, I just need to be around women and have that good ole flirtatiousness and sparring we all crave so much back in my life. I have two interviews this week and I hope something pans out. I read something a while back that said for every $10k in earnings you job search grows by one month. That is holding true right now. I have been looking for 3 months and the only offers have been for around 40K besides the great offer that involved a huge move, couldn’t do. So hopefully by June, that’s life people and you can deny it, So maybe I’ll be back on top, back on top May. I will get back to my lonliness no son no dog. No woman no Cry, I am going to the hockey game tonight hopefully not the last for my beloved Preds. Peace chant and Pray.